Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
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