you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
