Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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