wanna go halves on a baby?
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I look better un-naked...
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Randomize