I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
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