Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
