we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
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There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
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I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
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