you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Randomize
