He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
im holly from the hills drunk
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
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