her vagine was all disorganized.
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
she woke up with a sticky ear
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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