I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
