Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Randomize
