I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Vodka?
Forever.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
