I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Randomize
