lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.