A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I just found a bag of teeth...
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force