I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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