...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
