Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
