Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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