Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
