Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
