he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
