i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
