Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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