I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
