it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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