We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
nutella sex= disaster
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Randomize
