Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
