apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
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I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
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You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
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