there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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