So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
