I hate your face
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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