She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
