I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Randomize
