I think I just saw someone hide a body.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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