It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
