I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
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