Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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