Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
