I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Randomize
