is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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