They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Randomize
