You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
