Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Randomize
