The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Randomize
