dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
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