He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
