We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Randomize
