I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
