I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
