Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
