There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
