I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
