Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
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