I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
