1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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