are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
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