Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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