I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
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