I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
This is classic penis vs brain.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
