whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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