I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
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