we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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