Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
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